drastically drifting.

I hate the fact that I've been sooo OC lately. From a little speck of dust, to a piece of crumpled paper, to my flyaway hair...gaaaah. What has become of me? I've been so particular and compulsive that I hate it. It's not like I achieved perfection so much before. HAHA. This recurrent attitude drives me crazy to the point that fixing/cleaning/tidying/repeating things are all I think about.

Life is bearable still, and the ever changing pace becomes me. I have tried over and again to move on, and believe me...it's slowly sinking in. I have swallowed many unbearable realities such as the doubts she has on me, my incapabilities in some areas, and also my inability to step down and just shut up. Cryyy. Le sigh.

I had a y!m convo with Patchee last night which was just all too fulfilling. It cracked me up when she asked me what whitening product would be best for her to use. I never really aimed for mestiza-dom. I suggested Block&White Milk because I liked the scent when I tried it. HARHAR. =)). I wish I were tanned. I catched up with Patch; on our college lives, and the psuedo love lives within that life. Haiiii. I already have a "flirt" within vicinity and yet I am still indifferent. There's no vibrancy...just persistent disgust and massive avoiding. But I still have hope, I'll wait for the next surprising favor fate does for me as she always does =D

It has been 40 days since my grand-aunt's death and so in traditional fashion, we had a lunch in Kowloon in her honor. Gen had brought her Ma17 assignment (or whatever that was), and it made me envious of her sudden "studiousness". I am, and will forever, remain a bum. I never claimed to be the smart type, all ravishing with intelligence and chic.

and i just want you to live up to/ the image of you i create/ i see you and i'm so unsatisfied/ i see you and i dilate=> Gotta love Ani DiFranco. Hahaha.

Bad news again. My cousin’s shih tzu, Lazy, died. I feel so bad for Issa. I only found out today….. she really loved that dog.  CRYYYYYYYYYYY CRYYYYYYYYYYYY. Life goes on for all of us. It will be really disheartening to see Chinky alone nowadays. It’s like seeing a broken tandem :’(

I have tried improving my writing skills (cause it’s part of my OC-ness lately). I dunno why but I really am starting to hate everything I do…urrrrgh. Paranoia on the verge here…wah. wah. wah. May I regain consciousness and sanity again. Gotta make things right.

Now to close this miserable entry with a clincher.

I came across this word from my En11 prof. She asked me to think of a clincher for my article. Hmmm, I suck at those (here I go again), but for this one… I’ll try to be as succinct as possible: 

Stop venting, and just make do.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------

PS I'm moving house... AGAIN.

Boxes all around me
part II

=))

We all have our ups and downs. It was all smooth sailing for me in Ateneo: I passed the Math DT, the Fil DT, and my ES LT wasn't that bad either but now.........

My first Math LT will forever go down as my first disappointment in the AdMU.

I knew it. My blockmates said out their 70+ scores but when I turned that first page over, I knew how much I sucked at Math. Pasang-awa lang ako! :( *tear tear*. I was so careless I used the wrong method for the first item and that already cost me TEN effin' points! Cry cry. I hope I make up for it in the next LTs. I will definitely cancel out my first LT when the time comes. My diagnostic test score wasn't that great either, so I reallyyyy have to get high in the next long test. I was quiet the whole Math period earlier as my blockmates talked about the damn blockrep sitch once again. All my negativity resulted in the loss of my three pens! :( Tskkk.

OH THE PRESSURE!

To my surprise, we had a free cut for English. Yipeee! I hung out with my English blockmate Angela in Matteo and had some Figaro drinks. After that, we heard that the we could already claim our drafts from Dela Costa. I may have gotten so pissed and emo-ish with my Math score, but MY OH MY, I got a high score for my feature article draft in English <3. Badtrip lang at binutal pako ng .5 sa highest score. 13.5 => urrrrgh, konti nalang.

The word for the day is strive.

strive strive strive
strive strive strive
strive strive strive

waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa. This is a must.

I saw Krisha in MVP as I was distributing GK invites and sign-up sheets. Yey, these moments are just too great. I am now officially missing my high school buddies. Sad most of them are in UST :(  I.must.visit. We checked out the AJMA GA but in the end ditched it for the CovCourts. Due to the sucky space accumulation problems, only I got to watch "The Press" in the old Comm. dept. building...boooooo:(  Bonding moment pa naman sana namin yun xD hahahah. Oh well. My friend was still set to watch "Tarong" at 7 pm so it's ok that she missed out on "The Press". Play marathon sana yun ah..sunud-sunod! :))

"The Press" was interesting. It's the first time for me though to watch a play wherein the actors were holding scripts (meaning they did not memorize their lines) as they enacted their respective roles. Hahaha. All was well.

I got a very distracting IM two nights ago. Yuuuck. Err. I miss my old self. You see, back then my look rocked. HAHAHA. kidding guys, kiddiiiiing. :x

and.... now my guillotine-inspired, emo-colored line of the day:



My sucky handwriting still prevails in my notebooks.
:'(

cooling off.
xxooxxoo.